The Unexpected Vacation of George Thring by Alastair Puddick

Author:Alastair Puddick [Puddick, Alastair]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Humorous, General
ISBN: 9780992670085
Google: xeLUoAEACAAJ
Amazon: B00K6KCX04
Goodreads: 22058540
Publisher: Raven Crest Books
Published: 2014-05-05T23:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 25

GEORGE had often wondered how he might react in a robbery. Like most people, he had mused about how his brain would cope in such a high-stress situation. He’d often day-dreamed about finding himself in just such a spot; desperate men thrusting guns into his face, ordering him to comply with their demands.

In some of these scenarios George would play the part of negotiator, taking it upon himself, with no real training to speak of, to confront the robbers. He’d talk to them, calmly and carefully, helping them to see the error of their ways. He’d negotiate the release of the other hostages, finally convincing the robbers to give it all up as a bad job, surrender their weapons and turn themselves in to the police.

Naturally, George always had a word with the arresting officers afterwards, telling them how the robbers were just confused kids, in a terrible situation, and weren’t bad guys really. He’d get their sentences reduced, and the robbers would look at George with respect and appreciation as the police cars pulled away.

More commonly, the scenario would involve George leaping to everybody’s defence, taking down one robber and stealing his gun. Then he’d rely on his skill, intellect and special forces training to outwit the rest of the criminals, taking them out one by one in a hail of bullets, blood and explosions as he saved the day. Naturally he wouldn’t want any thanks afterwards – he was just doing what any man would do. But, as she insisted, he always agreed to take the thankful, sexy, blonde cashier out for dinner.

Now that it was actually happening for real, however, and there were actual real men, with actual real guns, shouting at him to ‘get down on the fucking ground’, neither of those scenarios had played out. Instead of leaping to everybody’s defence, George had found himself just stood there with a confused, stupid look on his face, not really knowing what to do.

Everybody else had done the same. They just stood there. That was another surprise. It wasn’t at all like you see in the movies, with people screaming and wailing in panic; papers suddenly flying as everyone scattered and darted for safety. In fact, the customers didn’t really seem scared at all. They were more baffled. It was all so unexpected that nobody really knew how to react.

When the second order came for everyone to get down on the ground, everything suddenly came rushing in at him. He found himself simply complying without question. All thoughts of acting the hero, leaping for one of the robbers’ weapons and enacting a one-man vigilante reckoning disappeared from his mind as he dutifully dropped to his knees.

It wasn’t fear exactly; he didn’t have time to think about how he felt. When men with machine guns tell you to get on the ground, you get on the ground as quickly as you can. And that’s that.

But George knew he was not totally powerless. There was one thing he could do.

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